For a long time, I thought of myself as an introvert.
I always felt nervous meeting people—worried they wouldn’t like me or that they’d judge me. As a result, I spent so much energy trying to be liked that I wasn’t truly engaged in conversations or enjoying myself. This constant effort left me feeling drained, and naturally, I thought, Well, I must be an introvert.
Yes, I love spending time alone, but as I’ve questioned my beliefs, I’ve realized that labeling myself as an introvert limited me in ways I didn’t fully understand. I now feel like I sit somewhere on the spectrum, leaning more toward extroversion with high anxiety and shyness (yep, a fun combo!).
Reevaluating My Energy & Relationships
One thing I’ve learned is that the people you interact with can either give or take energy from you. Some conversations leave me feeling inspired, energized, and connected—while others leave me feeling drained, insecure, and questioning myself. It’s not necessarily about introversion or extroversion; it’s about the kind of people I surround myself with.
This year, I’ve done a lot more networking and connecting, and I’ve realized I actually love meeting new people—as long as they aren’t the energy-draining type.
A galentine’s day dinner I hosted this year 🙂
As I Get Older, I’ve Become More Picky
With time, I’ve learned to be intentional about who I spend my energy on. Life naturally becomes busier, and there’s only so much time you can give. You can’t afford to invest in relationships that suck the energy out of you.
Are You an Introvert, Or Are They Draining Your Energy?
Sometimes, you might think you’re introverted when in reality, it’s just the people around you that drain your energy. Here are some questions I ask myself to evaluate my interactions:
- Am I truly enjoying the conversation?
- Am I trying too hard to impress or act like someone I’m not?
- Is the conversation more than 2/3 negative?
- How do they react when I share good or bad things about myself?
Why This Matters
We all have that inner voice—the one we constantly negotiate with, telling us to take risks, follow our goals, and pursue our dreams. Imagine that voice is already hard to silence, and then you surround yourself with someone who embodies all your fears and doubts in real life.
If your conscious time is spent with people who reflect those negative voices, it’s like fighting a losing battle. It makes it even harder to take action, move forward, or grow.
But now imagine surrounding yourself with people who give you energy, people who believe in you and uplift you. That’s what having the right kind of energy in your life feels like—like a real-life version of your affirmations.
A little reminder for you 💌
Learning to recognize who gives or takes energy from you is key to building relationships that better your life. Surround yourself with people who inspire you, energize you, and help you grow into your best self 🫶.
